Restaurant Review: Zesto’s in Winnipeg (839 Henderson Highway)

I used to eat at Zesto’s all the time before their Portage location closed. It was a popular lunch spot for University of Winnipeg students, but maybe they didn’t get enough business during the summer.

What’s unique about this sub and wrap place is that they can make their wraps with lettuce, rice, or a combination of the two. Rice isn’t an uncommon ingredient in authentic burritos or similar dishes, but most North Americans tend to think of wraps as basically sandwiches with a tortilla. You wouldn’t put rice in a sandwich, therefore. . . .

When I discovered they had a new location on Henderson, I was excited to have a Zesto’s rice-filled wrap for the first time in five years, and share the experience with my fiancee. When we unwrapped our food at home, however, we were disappointed to discover both the wrap and salad had red onions, although we had asked for there to be none.

My fiancee decided to eat her half of the wrap anyway. I tried to do the same but they bother me more than her and as soon as I had the first bite I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat it. I picked at the salad, where the onion taste wasn’t as overpowering, but my stomach was growling, so it ended up being cornflakes for dinner.

The next day at lunch I swung by to give it another shot. I told the person at the counter there had been a mistake with my order the previous night. I had already decided in advance I wouldn’t complain about the salad, even if I wasn’t really satisfied, since I had still decided to eat some of it.

I’m the kind of person who doesn’t complain about food orders unless the mistake actually prevents me from eating it. I thought even if the staff asked me if there were any other problems, I wouldn’t mention it. Well, I didn’t have to worry about that. They didn’t even want to hear about the first problem.

“So, what, you came back here for another half wrap because there were onions?”

If the words didn’t already sound hostile, her body language and tone made it more than clear. I told her simply, somewhat apologetically (why was I apologetic?), that I just don’t like onions (which, of course, is why we ordered it that way).

“I’ll have to call my boss.”

When she got off the phone she was still glaring daggers at me and she gave me a little interrogation. She asked what the order had been, what exactly was wrong with it, why I hadn’t returned the wrap last night, instead of today. She started making a new wrap, without onions this time, midway through, almost as an afterthought she asked if I had my receipt, although I was clearly holding an uneaten Zesto’s wrap in my hand.

She was so obviously pissed as she was making the wrap (she looked like she was strangling someone to death rather than stuffing a tortilla) that she didn’t ask any of the requisite questions, like whether I wanted rice or lettuce, or if I wanted anything else taken out.

She roughly tossed the wrap on the counter and said “sorry for the inconvenience” in a blatantly insincere way. At this point I was so amazed at how mistreated I was feeling, without having at any point been rude, accusatory, or failing to say “please” or “thank you”, I did something I’ve never done before, and actually attempted to engage with her further.

“Excuse me,” I said, in my calm and polite voice, “I’m sorry, but I get the strong impression that I’ve irritated or offended you coming in here, and I’m not sure exactly why.”

She said something about being sorry if it came across that way, but she’s “never known a guy to come in here with an uneaten wrap the next day”. I told her I’d come when it was convenient for me, rather than making a special trip.

Privately I was wondering why I was being berated for not acting more quickly in response to their mistake. What I said was that I had no intention of causing a scene (which I didn’t) or giving anyone a hard time. I just wanted to get the wrap I had paid for, but not received, the previous night. I’ve worked in a restaurant myself, for years and years, I told her. I know it’s annoying when an order comes back, but I wouldn’t have brought it just to nitpick.

She said, “Well, I would never bring back a half a wrap like that. But I apologize”, — again, her tone conveyed pretty much anything but a sense of apology — “if it seemed like I was being rude.”

Right. That ordeal done with, I took my wrap home, opened it up, and, of course, she had made it with lettuce instead of rice. I still hadn’t gotten what I wanted. But I wasn’t going back there again. I ate the wrap, and I’ll be fair, it was reasonably good. Maybe even worth the seven dollars I paid for it.

Not worth seven dollars, plus a second trip, topped off with being treated like crap by the staff. Not even close.

But I’ve got a new slogan to suggest for Zesto’s, “Great food when we don’t screw it up or verbally abuse you”.

Zesto's on Urbanspoon

Food Review: Foosh Energy Mints

Foosh Energy Mints are made by Vroom Foods, the same company that has been making Buzz Bites for years. The basic idea of both products is the same: take the caffeine of a full cup of coffee (100 mg, to be precise), wrap it up in a small candy that you can pop right into your mouth.

I happen to not be a coffee drinker. I drink both black and green teas, neither on a daily basis, and even the former has significantly less caffeine than a cup of coffee. I used to drink soda on occasion, but have essentially been off the fizzy sugar water for years. In other words, I was completely decaffeinated when I decided to test these “seriously caffeinated” peppermints out.

Somewhere around mid-morning on a Friday, I decided to try my first one. Vroom didn’t invent caffeine, and I’m not going to hold them responsible for the effects of the stimulant, which can vary from person to person. I will note that the body adjusts to caffeine, so if you want your cup of coffee, Foosh, or whatever to be truly effective, you should make sure you are not ingesting caffeine either frequently or regularly, but only as needed.

Having done just that, the result in my caes was a certain nervous energy that, unfortunately, I had no real way to dissipate. I wondered if I might be experiencing a placebo effect, so I took another mint to make sure, and soon the physical signs were unmistakable. I was jittery, my hands were shaking, my heart was running a little faster, and I wanted nothing more than to start running laps until the feeling went away. If I were on my way to a work-out, this would have been ideal. For the bad timing of being over-caffeinated in an office environment, I can only blame myself.

Don’t be so surprised at my poor decision. I wasn’t really expecting such a pronounced effect, since I didn’t realize how high this dose was compared to anything I’ve ever experienced before. It turns out that 100 mg of caffeine is the equivalent of three cans of soda (which put me at six cans’ worth of caffeine, with my two mints). Also, besides the caffeine, the mints include a cocktail of other, somewhat less potent stimulants, like ginseng and taurine, plus a handful of vitamins. I’ll be sure not to underestimate their effect on me the next time.

Taste is almost beside the point, so long as the candies aren’t inedible. I’ll note that caffeine is actually quite bitter. Most people don’t realize this because it’s rarely found in such a concentrated dose; in a soda or cappuccino, for example, the caffeine taste is basically drowned out by sugar and other flavours. Given such a large amount in a candy of this size, it’s impossible to completely mask the taste of the bitter alkaloid. The strength of the peppermint flavour, however, similar to what you’ll find in an Altoid, at least relegates the bitterness to an odd aftertaste. Certainly the caffeine peppermint pairing works much better than the “chocolate” Buzz Bites chews.

Foosh Energy Mints do pretty much exactly what they promise: they’re edible enough, serve as potent breath fresheners, and deliver a powerful dose of caffeine (along with a handful of secondary active ingredients). How you use them and to what effect will depend on how much of a caffeine hound you already are, and probably on many parametres of your baseline physiology. But I have no qualms at endorsing these as, indeed, seriously caffeinated.

Article first published as Tastes Review: Foosh Energy Mints on Blogcritics.